Well hello there, life change!

Wow! Who would’ve thought I’d be writing this blog a year ago? So crazy to think how your life can change so much in 1 year! Talk about wild!

I’m really excited, and just a little bit nervous and scared, to announce something to you. Quite a few of you know what I’m going to say, and quite a few of you don’t. But it probably won’t surprise you. You see…I’m about to embark on a crazy adventure called The World Race. It’s not the Amazing Race (it’s better!), not even really a race, but it is a trip around the world…11 countries in 11 months! Can you say WOWZA???

I first discovered this on July 7 (see, I even remember the date!?!?!) and was hooked from that very moment until this very day. Now it’ll be with me for a lifetime. It’s for 21-35 year olds…and its an 11-month long mission trip. See the world, experience all sorts of different people, cultures and places…learn how each missionary and missions organization does things differently, get stretched out of my comfort zone, strengthen my faith, get loads and loads of Holy Spirit goodness…and that’s just scratching the surface of all that’s in store. How do I know?

Well…there are these little things called World Race blogs that I’ve read every day since July 7. I know, I’m a little crazy at times. But I told you I was hooked, and I can’t get enough! You see, every World Racer has a blog. They get to tell the world about their experiences, their struggles, what they’re doing, where they are, their adventures, how they’re growing and changing, etc. So naturally I will get to do this soon, too (here’s a link to my very own World Race blog :)). But I’ve been reading these blogs for months now, and they’re crazy awesome. Real, down-to-earth, human experiences. Super encouraging. So anyway. I would highly encourage you to read some of these in your spare time.

But yes. I just received word that I was accepted. I applied on Dec 2, had my interview Dec 8, and found out Dec 15 that I’m in. That’s lightning fast! It’s been a whirlwind–and I’m really, honestly not 100% sure how I feel about everything yet. It’s a strange mixture of nervousness and excitedness (I think I just made up a word :-P). There’s a lot of other awesome God-stuff to tell you about, but in short, I’ve known for a while that this is something He wants me to do. There’s so much goodness in store, and I know it won’t be easy–it means leaving family and friends for 11 months, it means probably painful life-change and a lot of constant adjustments, it means being uncomfortable and tired all the time. But it also means stepping out and growing into who God wants me to be. This is something, a stepping stone, that I’ve been looking for for some time now…waiting for, wondering about, wishing for. But never for sure knowing what it would look like. The World Race is going to be a launching pad for me into full-time missions. My heart knows this. God has revealed some things to me and confirmed them in quite a few very obvious ways lately…and I know this is just the beginning.

It’s going to mean a lot of changes, and it’s going to mean I don’t get to see all of you wonderful people for a while, but I know you’ll be okay, and I’ll be okay, too. God’s on our side, who can be against us?! Big things are in store for all of us!

So, just briefly, I’ll let you in on what I know so far.

• I’ll leave in September 2012.
• I have to raise $15,500.
• I’ll be going to Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam/Laos, Tanzania, Mozambique, Swaziland, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Moldova, Romania, and Ireland. (check out more details of my route here)

This was all part of why I decided to go. I was in love with the World Race, or more so, the idea of it. I love to travel…want to see the world…love missions…love God…perfect, right? Well…I just wasn’t for sure yet. So, I prayed one of these prayers. “God, if you want me to go on the World Race, you know the countries I want to go to, so I’ll know that I’m supposed to go when I see them all on the same route.” Haha! I should’ve been more prepared. When the September routes were announced, I remember taking a deep breath before I read the email, because I had a hunch that God just might be calling me to one in September (but I didn’t tell anyone this, because I wasn’t sure). So…I opened the email. And started laughing. Because voila…there it was. My route. Totally meant for me. I should’ve known. God, you’re funny!

So then I hemmed and hawed and prayed and thought and prayed some more about it all…anxious because I’d need to quit my job, but knowing this is exactly perfect for me with where I’m at right now. The opportunities are endless. And God kept after me, whispering to me to “just do it.” I finally had to forget all the wondering and the emotions and just simply “do it.” Stop wondering about what I know now or don’t know and just go for it. So I did. And now I’m here. Writing this blog, a little overwhelmed, a tad excited and sad and a puddle of random emotions…but relieved at the same time to be able to step out of my comfortable Minnesota bubble and do what I’ve been dreaming about doing for a long time now. Travel the world for missions and write about it.

I know and trust that God will show His face to me through this. That He will open me up to a world that is broken and in need of healing, but also a world that is ultimately HIS. Created for His glory and His purpose. I just want to shine His love.

So that’s the scoop, friends and fam! I can hardly believe it! The journey has just begun. There’s lots more to come, and I will keep you posted on the new life adventures of Jess. Love you all!

I’ll be sending out support letters soon…but for now, if you would like to begin supporting me, either go to my World Race blog and click the “Support Me” link, or click on the image below for details on how to support me. THANK YOU! 🙂

Confliction

What do you do when your life starts moving in a new, exciting, heart-pounding direction that you’ve been trying to get to for a long time now, yet when it actually starts happening, you’re frozen in your tracks and all of the sudden you aren’t sure at all of what to do, how to react, how to feel, etc? Nothing is bright and shiny, although it should be. Or maybe a better way to say it is I know that God’s behind it, so I think I should be really excited about it, yet something feels very vulnerable, very unworthy, very inadequate, very non-committal, very timid and unsure. I mean, seriously? Shouldn’t I be head over heels excited? Jumping through the roof thrilled? Yet my emotions feel broken. I’ve always struggled with this, and it feels even more of a struggle now that my dreams are peeking over the horizon and I’m stuck…I’ve forced myself to move forward because I know this is what God wants of me…but how is it that I still can remain so emotionless? Does anyone else struggle with this? It’s like my brain and body are going through the motions for my heart, because my heart has been dreaming of this for so long that now that it is close to becoming reality, it can’t move forward…it’s stuck in place, yearning to get out, yet maybe not knowing exactly how. It gets released tiny bit by tiny bit, but it’s nothing like how I think I should feel. Maybe that’s the point. I can’t let my life be run by emotions, but only by what the Holy Spirit tells me…what God shows me to be the next step…and maybe, just maybe, I will always feel like this to an extent. Stuck inside, yet moving forward anyway, because the emotion, the thrill and excitement, will come later and overtake the blah-ness.

Through it all, God is good. I KNOW this…but it is so hard when you don’t feel it.

“Blow through the caverns of my soul”

Wow. There is something about these lyrics that leaves me breathless, wanting more and more and more of the Holy Spirit. Just had to share this song by Jeremy Riddle with you, because it has been soaking into me like crazy these past couple days, and I can’t get enough of it!

Awaken my soul, come awake
To hunger, to seek, to thirst
Awaken first love, come awake
And do as You did at first
Spirit of the Living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul
Pour in me to overflow, to overflow
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade

Just peaceful

You know those days when it’s just a peaceful, quiet day? You have time to just sit and soak in God’s presence…to blog and journal and spend time with Him…and enjoy some alone time? This time is so sweet for me. I need it. It’s been a long week. A good, fun-filled week. But very full and I can definitely say I’m in need of some rest. This week has been filled with fun family time, little-league football games, girls nights, birthday celebrations, and lots and lots of church and some serious seeking God time. But it is at the same time stressful and draining. Trying to make it all, enjoy it all, and be myself and find time for myself in the middle of it all. I really enjoy my friends and family…they rejuvenate me…but I think I tend to run myself dry and I don’t just let myself relax and take it easy. I usually end up needing some alone time to truly recharge my battery 🙂 I am constantly distracted and while I want to rest, it’s almost like I can’t, because I keep wanting to do things. I need to learn how to sit. JUST sit. And let God COME. I want it desperately. I yearn to be filled with more and more of Him, His Holy Spirit, His love, His peace, His joy so I can spread it to everyone I’m around. It’s a constant work-in-progress, I suppose!

AND, I’m working on not worrying about being perfect. Especially when it comes to my writing and blogging and just doing life…I am a perfectionist in many ways. It’s just normal for a first born 🙂 God’s helped me along my life journey to become much more easy-going and uber-flexible with most things, but I think when it comes to my writing it is much harder for me, since I want everything to be perfect right away. That will flow into my words and thoughts, too. And so…I think in some ways that hinders my communication with the Holy Spirit, because I over-think and second-guess a ton of things that I shouldn’t. Hearing God’s voice, following His leading, trusting Him right away and not after a long time of testing Him, etc etc. I hope that makes sense. These are just some of my musings…I really process things so much better when I write them down.

Lucky you, you get to read these rambling thoughts. I bet you’re SO unbelievably excited, huh? Haha! I DO appreciate you reading this though. I appreciate ALL of you…you make my life amazing!

Look for my next blog in a couple weeks…after I get back from my trip to Hawaii! 🙂

All Things Missions

Where to begin? There’s so much to write about. First things first–I am VERY excited for THIS this weekend–the Desiring God conference!!! This is an annual event put on by Pastor John Piper, and as far as I can tell or know about it, it is phenomenal (I’ve never attended before now…so I’ll let you know how it goes :)). This year’s theme is “Finish the Mission.” So naturally me, my rockstar parents, and awesome lil bro are in attendance. Did I say I was excited yet? Well…I am.

There’s a lot of back-story with this. Perhaps the best way to start is to simply tell you that I have a HUGE heart for missions, if you hadn’t already figured that out. What I mean by that is for as long as I can remember, I’ve always just simply wanted to shine God’s love to the whole world. And I’m a huge helper. Helping is actually one of my spiritual gifts and I love to do it, to get behind people and help them lift off into something greater. And I love to write–but now we’re getting off topic. *rewind* Let’s try this again :-P.

One of my hugest life desires is to show others God’s love. Whether that is simply holding a child and loving on them, or serving in some capacity, that’s how I see it. Just loving. And that has segued into hard-core missions heart syndrome. I will try and post more about that later, so you get to know me a little better.

Over the past year, my parents re-received the call to missions that they’ve had and known of for the past 25 years. They’ve spent all of those years raising me and my siblings, which is definitely a missions call in itself. They have always known they had a call to missions. They thought that that would be what they did once they were married. But then kids happened, and they knew they were called for that season to raise Godly kids. I am so thankful for my parents, they are no less than absolutely amazing. So…back to re-receiving their call.

Let’s just say some hard things happened, and God really got a hold of my family in an awesome, incredible, real and tangible way. It’s been unbelievably awesome and I can’t even begin to tell you how blessed I am to be a part of this family. Anyway. This all brought about an idea for a lifegroup (what my church calls small groups/Bible studies). My good friend Hillary was talking to my mom one day at church, and they just happened to brainstorm an idea for a missions lifegroup, right there in the church lobby. At first Hillary’s husband Bob thought it was a silly idea, “who would want to come to a missions lifegroup?” he asked…but very soon afterward God told him that it really was a good idea…and my dad was also all for it, so the 4 of them set off to start it. Since then, over the past year, it’s been so far beyond amazing that I can’t even put it into words and do it justice. I told my dad about a month ago that “I wish I could just put this lifegroup into a box and package up all of the goodness so others would understand how incredible and lifechanging and inspiring it is and want to come.” That pretty much sums it up.

We’ve been going through quite a few awesome books. (The Missionary Call, Spiritual Warfare & Missions, etc) and we’ve been having real-life missionaries come and speak to us and tell us about their experiences. The Holy Spirit is so present and real that it blows me away every time. Every time the lifegroup meets, there is always crying involved because the Holy Spirit is there. It is AWESOME. Things have moved along and more people have joined the group, and long story short, we now have the missions lifegroup at 2 of our church campuses (can you say sa-weet!) and we have split it up into 2 different groups, as well. We found that we were trying to do too much with the group, that we couldn’t read an awesome book and have a discussion about it AND have missionaries come and speak at the same time, because it ALWAYS ended up with the missionaries talking the whole time, which is absolutely incredible and life-changing.

So we now have 2 groups going over the books, and 1 open to the entire church to come hear our missionaries speak and give them a platform to share more deeply their ministry, their passion, their heart for the world, and give our church the chance to know more about them (more than you normally find out in a 5-spot).

So anyway, all that to say that it is completely normal and probably almost expected that we would attend this conference this weekend 😛 I am really excited for it. I am excited for our missions lifegroups. I am soooo pumped to see what God is going to do in us and in our church. Missions is already a huge part of our DNA, but I know it’s about to become an even bigger part of it.

So there. I’ve blabbed on for 772 words and counting. That’s a lot for a blog. I apologize. I think I like this topic just a little bit. 🙂 Would you keep us in your prayers? There’s a missions movement going on here, and it is SO exciting!

And while you’re at it, check out the conference and take a look at these awesome speakers! Also…another thing I can’t get enough of: World Race blogs. If you don’t know about the World Race…better check it out ASAP. It’ll rock your world.

More later. Peace!

There’s POWER in Prayer

Lately, I have been becoming more and more aware of the intense, incredible, authentic, and life-changing power of prayer!The coolest thing is that there is no defense against the power of prayer! You can go to the nations in prayer! Countries may have closed borders and be closed to the Gospel, but prayer penetrates those borders. It gets through the cracks in hard hearts. It breaks down barriers. Isn’t that just awesome?!

I have this vision of God’s people praying, and it’s like an aviation map. The prayers “fly” across the world — there is no border that prayer can’t cross, no fortress strong enough to hold it back, no wall thick enough to keep it out. That is the power of God through prayer! A country may be closed to you, but it cannot be closed to the power of your prayers. We can change the world through prayer!!!!

Don’t listen when people discourage you from praying. When people say, “oh, my friend, I have done too many bad things, so do not even try to pray for me, because it is hopeless for me,” do not listen to them! I can easily see this as the devil speaking through them, because he recognizes the power of prayer! Think about it…the devil knows how powerful God is and that there is incredible, life-changing power through prayer. If the devil tries to discourage you, he’s trying to limit the goodness of God, limit the incredible life-changing power of God, and he knows that prayer could change this person’s life and so he discourages you from praying, even through the mouth of this very person, to try to stop God from doing miraculous work through prayer. Whoa, huh?

We often times don’t see the end result of our prayers. And that can be very discouraging. But can I encourage you to keep at it with all excitement and Passion and boldness? It is hard when the feelings aren’t there…you feel dry and empty…but it’s all about believing in the power of God to transform lives and do what seems impossible to us, because it is really nothing for Him. We are to be rooted in prayer, because there is nothing that God cannot do. He is everything! There is so much strength in prayer, so much peace in knowing that you have prayed, and now you can let God do the rest, because you have done your part, even if it feels like the smallest thing, by praying.

We underestimate the power of prayer. Many people, or most people at one time or another, think that prayer is wimpy or not good enough. We think we need to DO something tangible in order to make a difference. But I’ve been learning that that is just not true at all!!! Pray with confidence! Pray with conviction! God may not answer our prayers the way we think He should do it, but — reality check — He is WISER than us and He has a PLAN!

There’s a closeness, an intimacy with God when we pray. Sometimes you won’t feel it (I know I don’t most of the time). And sometimes it will overwhelm you!!! But it is really not about feelings. It’s about knowing who God is, knowing His truth and trusting Him no matter what, that He has the best plan. It’s understanding that His ways are not our ways, that we don’t understand “why” all the time. But don’t you think it’s definitely possible that our brains could never truly grasp how wide and how deep and how high is His knowledge, His power, His love for us? It’s about trusting Him through that and never ceasing to pray. Pray with a humble heart and open hands, ready to receive and go, and ready to be all who God has called you to be.

Prayer reaches the nations! How awesome is that? We cannot fathom how far it reaches. We do not understand the full depths of its power. But God is so huge. Prayer is an incredible gift that needs to be picked up and used. It’s hard to pray all the time. It’s challenging, and I fail so often. But try. And keep trying. God doesn’t give up on you. He loves you with an everlasting love. I am so grateful to serve a God with such depth to Him. I can’t comprehend Him, but oh how I love Him and how He loves me!!! This is a beautiful thing, my friends!

Never cease to pray. Lift up yourself…for healing and understanding and the filling of the Holy Spirit. For boldness and confidence in Christ. Then lift up others around you. Bring them to the throne of God! Pray for your nation — for peace and wisdom for its leaders, for God to be known amongst every people group in your nation, and finally, all the other nations in the world. That Christ’s love and undeniable power would be known across the globe, and that the Holy Spirit would penetrate every border, every people group, every person in every nation. That no one would die without the chance to know Jesus, to know that He died for them so that they could have eternal life and be with God in heaven forever! Ahhh-mazing. Amen!

[I wrote this a couple of days ago in a moment of inspiration 😛 I’ve tweaked it since then…but I’ve been incredibly challenged by this. It really challenges me more than I could ever tell you…and I’ve realized lately that I lack so much in prayer. I used to pride myself in praying “all-day-long.” But I am now humbled in knowing I have a long way to go. Would you join me in becoming more persistent, more confident, more deliberate in prayer? It’s SUPER challenging. But the reward, getting closer and more in tune with the Holy Spirit and the heart-beat of God, has GOT to be SO worth it!]